Ciara Vittoria drouin was born on april 14 at 7:34am she was 8lbs and 20.5 inches long. I had a c-section which was horrid, tey didnt make the incesion big enough so they had to shove her back in and cut the whole bigger. Than my epideral wore off while i was still cut open. after the surgery i was in a lot of pain but i thought it was normal even though they had me on enough pain meds to put a horse down. two days after having her turn put it wasnt ormal i was really sick had a uterus infection.

today tristan turns 6! which just makes me feel old and tired!

Justice is having a hard time adjusting to the baby but he did find some peace in planting with daddy this weekend

So i am having a issue. Tristans best friend from schools mom has a history of being a thief and writing bad checks (stolen and what not) well now that i knwo that some of the things she said to me made sense and i think she has been scoping out my apt! well now that i know i have been locking my sor and i told my downstairs nieghbor about it. well Hope tells me that she was here the other say in my house when i was not here! i am pissed i havent noticed anything missing but i dont know what to do! i want to confront her or maybe i sould just call the cops? tirstan only has a week left of school but this is his bff! I dont want to cause a scene but i dont think it is ok for her to get away with it! and i am worried that maybe i am overlooking soemthing maybe she got a book of checks i didnt notice or something? I will def not invite her to my house again but i dont know what to do! 

I am at my wits end with miss. tiff! i have tried literaly everything. i buy her stuff tkae her places go to all the PTA crap raised all the money for her to go to natures classroom etc. etc! But lately my things have been going missing and her attitude has been getting worst. last week she was supposed to be keping an eye on her brother and took off in the woods with him crying for her to come back. Normally whatever i would say its normal 11 year old girl BS. But on top of it my normally strict and reasonable husband has all of a sudden developed a case of daddys little princess syndrome! To make things worst even (you are probably thinking what could be worst),  I lost 25 dollars on sunday. tuesday tiff said she "found" 5 dollars. Than today i was in her room and found a 20 under her bed! and my five was wrapped in my 20 so you do the math. I am frustrated 2 of my nursing neclaces have also dissapeared and they are expensive and frankly pretty sentimental to me! I dont know what to do and my husband seems to think that none of this is reason for concern. 
I have spent the past 2 years trying to fix all the problems that this girls mother caused and i have fought like hell to keep her in my house but if this doesnt get fixed and i dont see a drastic change in her bs i may just tell her to go back to her mom's.  I know that is what she wants and the last thing that she needs but i have two other kids to worry about and i cant be afraid at night that anything i left out might not be there in the morning! I am having a hard time deciding what to do! Ty and are going to sit down and talk tonight. I wish i wasnt nursing cause right now i could really use a fricking drink! I havent said anything to tiff yet cause i want to discuss the punishment with ty first cause i think we need to attack this as a united front and if we cant get on the same page than i dont know what i will do! 

Its a little crazy to think that it has already been five years. Today the love of my life turns 5. we had a rough start but we have gone so far. i know it may seem odd but i have had some serious stress about this day. 5 is a big one i think and its just hard to believe that my little baby has grown so big so fast. But here it is. i cant freeze time and i cant go back so i have to go foward. I cnat really complain though. Tristan is the most amazing child i have ever met. he is smart, sweet, sensitive, and some of the stuff he comes up with just totally blows my mind. In 5 years he has shown me more joy than i ever thought possible. So i guess all i can do is hope for another 5 of the same! I dug up some old pics and scanned them. oh how he has grown! 

moar funny pictures

Ty told me yesterday morning that at the 2 hour long meeting he had at work his bosses revealed an awfull truth!  In an attempt to get more work they were forced to take lots of away jobs. this means he will be gone from monday morning until late friday night.  I am so sad! but him and 2 other guys worked it out that when they are less than 2 hours away him and the other guys will take turns and drive eachother home and back every night he will still get the extra 150 a week but some of it will go to gas. its gonna be a long summer! 

 these are mostly to cheer uo my mom

 

After a year and a half, a pregnancy, a perverted boss(who i shut down) and a whole lot of Bull shit I was fired from my job. No biggie right? well just take into consideration my husband is a roofer who has been making hardly any money since before xmas! I am still behind on bills since my maternity leave. And ther purpose for me getting fired is even worst! My son justice has had to severe episodes that have landed him in the ER! we still dont know what is causing the issue. Two weeks ago i missed one day cause i was in the hospital with my 5 month old baby who was hooked up to an IV not eating vomiting choking and passing out! But I called out so the fired me! I am so upset i loved my job even though my boss was an egotistical pervert with the IQ of a hamstee! i take that back the IQ of a rock! Hamsters are smarter than him! this is a man who told me when i was 8 months pregnant with my second child that he knew more about being pregnant than I did! At this moment I regeret not letting my hormonal fat ass beat him till he cried for his momma! But i know i am the better person and for now i just have to move foward! its sad and hard and sucks! But its life I just have to get back up and try again! I just wish i wasnt nursing so i could have my self a good drink! LOL! So I am ready for my break in life! Some random person to leave me money or a house or my long missing father to drop dead and have some huge inheritance set aside for me! LOL(those who know about my father will know how not likely that is) Or even that power ball win i have always dreamed of! But i have no money for a ticket so that is even less likely than the others. Okay i am done with my half ass spelling rant. Its late im tired and Hillary has one the NH primary. Which is a victory for women i think(although i didnt vote for her). Change is upon us!

This week was interesting and exhausting! We had our first thanksgiving just us and the kids which was wonderfull. The only thing is we need to invite some people cause we made so much food!!! Sat we went tree hunting and landed a pricy and painfull but perfect blue spruce. the kids were less than perfect for that expedition....and it was damn cold! today i spent too much money on decorations and had a great time decorating the tree and the house with the kids! then we watched the santa clause 3.now i am waiting for the patriots game to start and enjoying my decorated home! I love the holidays!

6 weeks

three months

I am so proud! Tristan and i had so many problems! Justice and i have been having a blast a week into working and i know i can do this! I cant imagine not nursing him.

My best friend and her man broke up today! they just ahd a baby three weeks older than my Justice. she is really sad and has a lot of adjusting to do.  I feel awfull for her. Times like these just remind me how great I have it. My man cooks cleans and helps with the kids. He isnt perfect and we do fight but he comes home every night, takes care of his kids, helps with the bills and treats me right. I know I am lucky but sometimes i really have to remind myself of how great he is and how much i love him. with all the kids driving us crazy sometims we lose sight of eachother.  I never want to lose him. I just wish the kind of relationship we have could happen to all of my friends most of which are in really awfull relationships with there childrens fathers.  Trying to make something work that never exsisted in the first place! 
Reasons Why i love my man:

1. He always tells me I am beautifull even when I know I am not
2. He is the funniest person I know
3. He loves my cooking/baking
4. He treats me with respect
5. He loves trying new things
6. He cleans
7. He cooks
8. He loves my son like his own
9. He never gives up
10. He loves his kids
11. He is a kid 
12. He is my best friend
13. He is trusting and trustworthy
14. He loves to cuddle
15. He tries to watch my stupid shows no matter how much he hates them
16. He keeps me grounded
17. He fuels my imagination
18. He is sexy
19. He makes me feel safe
20. He is my teddy bear
21. He is my lover
22. He always listens to me even when i dont stop blabbering
23. He protects me
24. He supports me 
25. I could never stop coming up with reasons why I love him!

 

this morning is just out to get me! i hope this is not setting the mood for november cause if so i may nt survive the month. First i call my son out of school this morning cause he has a dentist apointment. when i get off the phone with the school i check my messages only to find out that the detists have called to tell me his medicaid isnt working! so i call medicaid seriously frustrated cause last week i called to make sure all was in order for this apointment and had been reassured that i had nothing to worry about. well that was hours ago and they havent gotten back to me his apointment has been canceled and now i have no note to give his school as to why he isnt there today! I am so mad! Well on the positive side my sitter bless her heart has agreed to take the boys even with my minimal ability to pay her. thank god for some good people in the world or i would be lost!

i have to say that halloween is one of my favorite holidays probably cause its one of the few that doesnt involve presents! tonight i get to take the kids trick or treating! but today i have been busy making chocolate cream pie and a oreo chocolatepeanut butter cup cake and halloween cup cakes! we were gonna make halloween candy i even bought a kit and everything! but our kit was missing half the stuff it was supposed to have making it impossible! URGH!! that was such a waste of money and tristan was very upset he was all pumped up and then we couldnt do it! well no costumes yet but here are some of tristan at the pumpkin fest and justice. also some of justice in his halloween outfit that nonna bought him!

I have been scrapbooking my heart out! Ty is gonna kill me for all the money ive spent on stickers and glue and stuff but its so worth it. So now i have finally found a hobby i love to do that i can get done when Justice gives me a break! And i have to get ready to return to work! It stinks!!! I baked this weekend attended a birthday/halloween party. watched the best baseball team in the whole world win the world series!!! watched the best football team pound the redskins! all in all it was a good weekend.

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that
she is a Yankees fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand
except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise,
"Dakota, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Yankees fan,"
she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then
who are you a fan of?"

"I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Dakota replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Dakota, why pray tell are you a Red
Sox fan?"

"Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan,
so I'm a Red Sox fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in a obviously
annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have
to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot
and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then," Dakota smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."
-----------------------------------------------
A family of New York Yankee fans headed out one Saturday to shop for the
youngest boys birthday.

While in the sports shop the son picks up a Red Sox jersey and says to his
older sister, "I've decided to become a Red Sox fan and I would like this
Boston Red Sox jersey for my birthday."

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him upside his head
and says, "Go talk to mother."

Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mom?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would
like this jersey for my birthday."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and
says, "Go talk to your father!"
Off he goes with the Red Sox jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"

"Yes , son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for
my birthday."

The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son in the back of his head
and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards
home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something
today?"

The son says, "Yes , Dad, I have."

"Good! And what is it you learned?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Red Sox fan for an hour and I already
hate you Yankee bastards!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Four baseball fans - a Cubs fan, a Cardinals fan, a Red Sox fan, and a
Yankees fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.

The Cubs fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Cubs!" he yells,
and jumps off the side of the moun tain.

Not to be out done, the Cardinals fan shouts, "This is for the Cardinals!"
and throws himself off the mountain.

The Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team.

He yells, "This is for everyone!" and pushes the Yankees fan off the
mountain.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw
strutting down the street in an obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would
swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.

One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good
deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the
road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the
passenger seat, and they continued down the road.

Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankees fan walking down the road, and he
instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto
the road just in time.

Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud
THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but
still didn't see anything.

He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, sorry
Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan."

"That 's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."

Im so sad today! I really need to make up my mind whitch sitter i want to watch my boys! But i honestly cant afford either of them. Also the thought of leaving the baby is making me so sad! Ihave also Been loving the time i have gotten to spend with Tristan. Maybe some day i will et to be a stay at home ma but right now its just not possible! Justice has been sad cause his belly hurts due to the formula ive been slowly trying to give him. I think I may try to nurse him even when i go back to work. I also am gonna try soy formula instead! He is loving his swing today though! Me and the boy are baking again chocolate cream pie. apple crisp and halloween candy and cupcakes!I bought a baby book for JD so I can start that and a family scrapbook too!

So i have a week and a half left of maternity leave! im so sad! I havent spent more than two hours away from my newest little angel since he was born! I am gonna miss him so much! Its so hard trying to decide who will watch my boys! And even harder to try and figure out how im gonna pay for it. I finally have a computer to call my own thanks to my mom and my loving step mom Jo! So thank you! So I know my ma beat me to the punch of posting pics but here are a few of my kids!